Thursday, March 06, 2008

God Validation

I love the moments in my life of God validation...when instead of imagining God as an overarching ruler hanging out, separated from me by a universe. In these moments, I feel Him here, close, reaching down and stroking my hair as my mother would. It's a wonderful feeling, to be open enough to feel a moment like this. It reminds me of the warmth and elation associated with the first days of spring, when the sun is warm on your face and the breeze still refreshingly cool. These moments say, "Do not worry, I will provide."

My first God validation was when I was about twenty-seven years old. I was working for a company in Manhattan and it was my first real, groing-up job. (groing-up is what my three-year-old calls grown-ups and I just love it!). About four blocks South of my office was a church called Grace Church. I found it, by the grace of God, starting attending, by the grace of God and rediscovered the Christian part of me that craved church. I found community and a spiritual home there. These, however, were not my God Validation moment. My moment came one day, during a Good Friday service, where the ministers of my Episcopal church, and several others in the city, were preaching on the various Lenten readings.

One of the readings, was the story of Jesus' baptism. The minister talked about how we are loved by God and repeated the line, "You are my beloved, in whom I am well pleased." And, for the first time, I felt this unconditional love. This was my first time God was validated for me. This moment was spiritual, logical and emotional, all at once. I ended up in tears. Crying for the grace of a God who saw me, His broken little beloved, as pleasing to Him.

Fast forward to last night. I promised a friend of mine, who is going through some difficulties, that I would pray for her at this lovely little healing service I attend on Wednesday nights at St. Stephen's Church in Ridgefield. I went up for healing, was annointed with oil, and I prayed for her heart to heal, for her boys, for her anger to dissipate. It was today that the validation came. I almost broke into tears, as she relayed the story to me of how she had had a turnaround evening last night. I said to her, "Oh my! Remember when I said I would pray for you? That was last evening." He is good. He is there. God Validation.

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