The second born is the true perfectionist. This person attends to details, strives for perfection and reads the fine print. "Good enough" is never good enough.
The second born competes with the first born for parental attention. When the second born discovers how to put crayons to paper the first born displays a completed picture to mother. The second born senses the inadequacy of what she (or he) has created. The second born decides that to get love she must do something perfectly.
Second borns may not like compliments. Compliments may bring up memories of mother trying to praise the second born's efforts when the first born obviously did better. It felt condescending then and compliments may feel condescending now. Second borns tend to like suggestions for improvement more.
Second borns tend to assume that everyone is like they are so they do not give compliments. Instead, when you expect a compliment the second offers a suggestion for improvement. The second born is not being mean but simply helping you on the way to perfection.
The second born loses attention as the first born aggressively takes it away, leaving the second child to feel as if he or she cannot do anything well enough to merit attention.
Characteristic Bad Feeling: Inadequacy
Strategies for survival: Perfectionism, Logic
Felt Loss: Emotions
Sense of Justice: Necessity
Thought Pattern: Evaluation
T-shirt: "That won't work, it's not good enough."
Childhood Behavior: Deceptive, Critical
Emotional Expression: Controlled, Intense
Source of Anger: Criticism
Nature of Humor: Dry
Means of Relating: Correction
Spirituality: Self-discipline, Living by rules
Relational: Sensitive to others' anger, Peacemaker
The Child Within: Neglected
Type of Procrastination: Puts things off till they can be done perfectly
Blind spot: Others' emotions
Boundaries: Defined by rules
A walk in the woods: Watches ground around the feet, may go around in circles
Careers: Accounting, Banking, Art, Carpentry, Decorating, Receptionist, Secretary, Teaching, Writing Novels
Strengths: Self-discipline, Honesty, Determination
Parenting: Insists of obedience to the rules
Marriage: Puts spouse, family ahead of self
As Friend: Offers constructive criticism
Social Contributions: Art, financial institutions, completed projects
Expression of Love: Constructive criticism
Driving Style: Drives angrily because others do not follow the rules
Listening Style: Listens for mistakes
Common Phrase: "You need to..."
Responds To: "This may not be perfect, but...."