Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Fabric Store Heaven

Stopped into the fabric store yesterday to poke around in the remnants and fat quarters. Visiting a fabric store, to me, is like visiting a museum. I am surrounded by cacophonous beauty. I have to hold myself back from buying everything I see...because the beauty is not derived from any one fabric, it's the juxtaposition of ALL of them. Consequently, I want to take them ALL home! I have to come up with specific projects to reign in my spending. Just look at yesterday's finds!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

My Life in Facebook Statuses (Stati??)

Here's what's been happening in the last few weeks in small, bite-sized, candy-coated chunks!

Kristen Sassano Gill And some days I am an inspired mother...and other days I am a cranky old woman who wonders where these urchins came from. My poor children.

Kristen Sassano Gill Liam just found an open can of spray paint at Joann's and sprayed himself in the face...It stings, Mommy...yeah, I bet it does, nimrod!

Kristen Sassano Gill What's your favorite Easter hymn???

Kristen Sassano Gill Did anyone else feel like the entire natural world was celebrating Easter today in all it's glory?

Kristen Sassano Gill For the record, my kids CANNOT have MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristen Sassano Gill Heaven is a good walk at lunchtime

Kristen Sassano Gill Seriously, HOW HOT IS IT OUTSIDE

Kristen Sassano Gill GOODNESS, I KNEW I WAS HOT! ... Record high temperature set at LaGuardia NY... a record high temperature of 91 degrees was set at LaGuardia NY today at 354 PM. This breaks the old record of 86 set in 1991.

Kristen Sassano Gill Happy Thursday! (world's most boring and uninspired status)

Kristen Sassano Gill Wanna watch paint dry? Watch your almost six year old tracking time...minute by minute waiting for it to be time for the library to open.

Kristen Sassano Gill Why does painting always end in everybody and everything being paintED?

Kristen Sassano Gill Store bought pie crust is an invention of the gods....we have had homemade chicken pot pie two nights in a row...easy to make and delicious!!!

Kristen Sassano Gill GLEEEEEE!!!! WHEEEEEEEE!!

Kristen Sassano Gill The more I try to figure Lost out, the more tangled I get...well, not true...figuring out the plot is not hard, I twist my brain in knots when I start thinking "BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN???"

Kristen Sassano Gill Tonight, tapas is on the menu tonight....rice balls, turkey and spinach patties and roasted butternut squash

Kristen Sassano Gill "Did you know that dolphins are gay sharks?"

Kristen Sassano Gill

Kristen Sassano Gill L.M.F.A.O. - Hyperbole and a Half: The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

Kristen Sassano Gill Liam's first brain freeze....owwww...."Mommy! Ice cream makes me........HURT!" (while grabbing his forehead and trying to shove his hand down his throat to warm it up)

Kristen Sassano Gill I don't mean to seem like a buzz kill, but I H-A-T-E Wubzy and his band of LOUD friends...

Kristen Sassano Gill Elena Gill: "Dinosaurs aren't real anymore, Liam, they're DISTINCT!"

Kristen Sassano Gill ME: "Life is good...Life is good, Liam" LIAM: "Cause God made it good, Mommy!"

Kristen Sassano Gill Some days are better than others...some days, your son wakes up talking like a prophet and the next day, he disregards every single thing you say until he is kicking your computer and you are holding back from spanking.

Kristen Sassano Gill Why is it that kids don't pick up on PMS? I want you to stop throwing things, climbing on my car, messing up the house, spilling water on yourself, peeing yourself...just for a few days each that too much to ask?

Kristen Sassano Gill Bedtime for the kiddos came in the exact nick of time...I made it by the skin of my teeth...I mean JUST barely.

Kristen Sassano Gill This is EXACTLY what is on my mind right now....

Kristen Sassano Gill We are about to head out...the kids may not survive until we can actually leave the house. "Liam, please get off the table!!!!"

Kristen Sassano Gill Sometimes the sidebar advertisements are scarily on target...That's ALL I NEED to become part of the "Human Tetris Project" (as if Bejeweled hasn't already stolen enough of my life, time and sanity!)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

A Tale of Childhood in Balloons

First, Liam had a balloon. He got it for Easter. It was a big yellow smiley face and he loved it. It made him have a smiley face, too....

Until, he let it go into space. There was much sobbing...I felt like I was going to cry too...To make matters worse, it wasn't even in space, it was hanging from the high limbs of the elm tree in our driveway. He had much faith in his mommy, "Climb up and get it!!" possible.

"But Liam, it's great, we can admire it always up there and it will make us smile for a long, long time!" Liam squints and continues to cry.

While I am trying to convince Liam that the balloon will be a nice heralding presence in our driveway from now on, the balloon decided to detach from the tree, thumbing its nose a this line of logic. Imagine me with this face

We walked to the market and I let him pick out a giant Thomas balloon almost as big as he was...

It popped within thirty minutes due to death by dragging. The look of indignation on Liam's face was priceless. How DARE you split in two on me! If you only knew the crap I've dealt with with balloons today!

He got a replacement after forcing me into the market to ask for a new one. The new one was small, tied to his hand and his underwear and is still with us...heck, will be with us for the next two months!

Liam has moved on, cares nothing for the balloon now, and it merely floats around our house looking to alight on something that might pop it or dart out the door to make a vertical escape and start the whole process of childhood learning over again. Balloons are silly.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Mystery of Popov

As I go on my walks around the office complex, there are these Popov vodka bottles as pictured. Not sure where they came from, but I have developed some theories...

1) My suspicion is that they are all from the same person, since they are the exact same bottle, size, brand, etc.

2) They are tossed there from one of the people who works in my office complex.

3) I don't think they are from someone in our building due to the fact that they continue towards a dead end, past our entrance.

4) The bottles were not put there from some partying teens. Since when have you known kids to celebrate with a quart sized bottle of Popov vodka?

5) The bottles are jettisoned on a daily or frequent basis. There must be over 100 of the bottles and they are all in various stages of decomposition.

So, here are the stories I tell myself about the mysterious containers.

Story 1: There is an alcoholic man who lives with his wife and family. They all believe he has quit drinking. So, every day he brings a bottle of vodka to work with him, just enough to get him through the day, but keep him sober enough upon his return home. On his way out, he rolls down his window and tosses the evidence onto the roadside.

Story 2: There is a man who works keeping up the grounds around our building. My theory is that he, as part of his routine, sips at the vodka all day long and then pitches the evidence out onto the road. The wind easily takes the light, plastic container, dispersing it along about a mile stretch of the complex.

I have the weirdest of fantasy of one day bringing a giant garbage bag, collecting every bottle and having a count the bottles contest. I want to photograph them and make Dadaist art. I am intrigued. Like all good mysteries, the answer is not readily available and will continue to offer mind food for my walks for a good long time.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Hanging on the Line...Waiting to be Beat...

Well, not really...but yesterday was laundry line day. First off, I want to preface this post by saying that although I try to lessen my carbon footprint on this earth, I did not switch to a laundry line to try to save electricity. I switched because, well, our dryer switch shit the bed.

The laundry has been piling up and I was just letting it until the mountain of laundry started scaring me. On Friday, I was at Wal-Mart and I had the hair-brained idea of buying some clothespins and a line. I picked out a cute little retractable 9 ft. line. I installed it yesterday and was surprised to see it held about two sweaters. The kids and I put on our walking shoes and headed off the the True Value. After buying 100 ft. of clothesline, I came back to hang it up.

It all went well. I hung the line, pinned up the first part of the first wet load and watched it flying in the breeze like a triumphant celebration. Soon I was low on clothespins and had to head back to the hardware store for another 50. I finished hanging the load and went to the basement to get the second load...a much heavier (it turns out) dark load.

Just moments later, I was in a tug-o-war with the clothesline which had slipped its knot and was threatening to dirty two loads of laundry. I was freaking out and shouting orders to the children, who at 3 and 5 were frankly more harm than help. Jeans and pjs dangled inches from a pile of dust as tugged and fought with the line, cussing and hemming under my breath. Elena said to me, "Mommy, if this project is going to be so frustrating that you're going to be so mad, maybe we should go inside?" Yikes. At one point, not my finest moment, I had the children holding the line precariously up while I followed the line to its midpoint to untwist it. Poor little dears, arms above heads, were not so pleased with helping Mommy.

Eventually, much yanking and ripping of hand skin later, the line was back up. The children, forgiving my outbursts, ran through the damp clothes, a cliche, reminding me of doing the same many times over as a child.