DAY 25: Connecticut State Land, Lover's Leap Park

Day 25 State Land, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

In the summer, we go to Lover's Leap. It's a beautiful, green, lush state park. There is a tomato colored bridge that straddles the Housatonic River. In the summer, it's inviting and cool and you want to plunge off the bridge in a dramatic swan dive. Today, it was not so inviting.

I decided, since I arrived in New Milford to pick up the kids a half hour early, to go on a photo hike in the park. It wouldn't be too cold in my big puffy jacket, I surmised. I surmised wrong!

First of all, it was 15 degrees out. Secondly, the ice and snow made it so slick, I was afraid I would fall into the icy jammed river. The river was so cold, it looked like green ice water and barely moved. By the time I had snapped twenty pictures or so, I was numb in the face and fingers and I had to run back to the car. On my walk to the bridge, I was thinking, "I wish I had the kids with me...they would love sliding down these hills!" On my run back to the car, I amended my thought to, "THANK GOD I DO NOT HAVE THE KIDS WITH ME!" Whew! Haven't been that cold in awhile!

DAY 24: Elena Loves Animals

365 Day 24 019, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

Elena cracks me up. This morning, we were driving to their father's house. She was yammering on in the back seat about all kinds of topics. She was playing with two Polly Pocket dolls. This is probably the very first time she has even noticed a doll. I was trying not to make a big deal, but listening to her talk about and to the "girls" as she was calling them.

It got a little akward when she said to me, "Mommy, isn't it funny that I used to love animals so much and ONLY animals, but now I find that I really like girls. I just LOVE girls!"

Gulp.

So, I repeated back to her with one edit. "Yes, you did love animals and now you like DOLLS, too!"

(The picture above is a horse, in case you are trying to squint and figure it out)

DAY 23: The Shyster

23/365 The Shyster, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

Last night, I scared up the old copy of Green Eggs and Ham that we were raised on. I read it to Liam. He loved it due to the fact that there is a train and a car and a boat in it...I would not, could not on a train...I also like to think he liked the cadence of all that fun rhyming language spilling out of his mother's mouth.

Anyhow, as I was reading it as an adult, I was struck by what a shyster that Sam-I-Am is. Being in sales and being a mother, a nagging approach to getting what you want is not my favorite method. He's just plain annoying. He gives the main character not a minute to consider any of his offers, he just keeps bombarding him with potential scenarios whereby he might want to eat green eggs and ham. I assure you, Sam-I-Am would have met with a violent end had he been trying to persuade me to eat those nasty looking breakfast foods.

When I was training sales people, I used to describe two scenarios of potential sales tacts. Imagine if you will walking into a high end suit shop to buy a suit. Imagine one shop where you are immediately pounced upon by a salesperson dangling suits from each arm...this salesperson is bringing you all the top selling suits and not taking your wishes and needs into consideration. This is a bad salesperson. This is the Sam-I-Am approach.

A good salesperson welcomes you and sits down with you for a consultation before even getting to any suits. What colors do you like to wear? Tell me about your favorite suit? What is the occasion? Are you a trendy or traditional suit guy? etc...

See the difference? So, is Green Eggs and Ham teaching my child to wheedle, whine, persist and carry on to eventually get what he wants? Or is it teaching him to try new foods and he might actually like them? What do you think?

Day 22: Mirror Image

Day 22: Mirror Image, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

What do you think of yourself? Do you love yourself completely? Do you think that a lot of the shortcomings in your life come from areas where you lack self-love? How is self-confidence tied to self-love?

These are the questions I ask myself when I look in the mirror. I have always been confident that what I offer the world when I open my mouth, or serve up the contents of my brain, is exceptional. Lately, I am starting to find my physical appearance more and more trued up with the internal image. This is odd, because years ago, I lost a lot of weight. I was actually down to a size I hadn't seen since Junior High! I was still the same girl inside, though, and all the same insecurities still plagued me. I remember thinking this was odd. How could my "new and improved container" not have impacted the way I felt about myself?

Now, the reverse is true. I am working on becoming more at peace with myself inside and am, therefore, finding happiness with what I see in the mirror. Pretty cool, actually.

DAY 21: Bathtime

365 Day 21 059, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

So, this is an awful picture. It doesn't even look like Elena, but I had to post it for the story that goes along with this picture. Tonight I said, innocently, "It's bathtime." Herself freaked out. "No Mommy! NO! I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE A BATH!!!"

"Sorry honey, you need a bath and you need your hair washed!" She stormed out of the room. I asked my dad where she was, "Where did she go?" He thought she was going to the bathroom. I didn't. She had just been.

Moments later she emerged from the bathroom with a sopping wet head. "There! I washed my own hair!"

She was perturbed that I was laughing at her..."STOP LAUGHING AT ME MOMMY AND BOPS (my dad)!" So, what did I do? Made her pose for a picture and stick out her tongue...so cute!

DAY 20: How Could it NOT be an Inauguration Photo?

20/365 How Could it NOT be an Inauguration Photo, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

I am forced to photograph the TV screen because I am not in Washington, DC today. I wish I were. I am so excited this morning, I am almost motivated to toss my kids in the car and drive to DC. But, practicality will always get the better of me. I was mighty disappointed to realize I was in Philadelphia when Obama made his "whistle-stop" on Saturday and was cluelessly hungover and missed it. Makes me feel sort of uninvolved.

OK...here it is three hours later and I am sitting on my couch, riveted. I came down from my "home office" to turn on the tv at 11:43 and it was all just starting...10 minutes later, they introduced Barak Obama, our president elect. I started crying. I was crying tears of gratefulness. I was crying for Rosa Parks. For Martin Luther King Jr. For all the immigrants who have scraped and fought to be treated as equals. This day brings me tears of hope and promise. Tears of sadness for all who were not so lucky to see this day, but who were instrumental in its fruition.

God bless us.

Bonus (non-365 Project) Photos:

DAY 19: Alstromeria on its Way Out

Alstromeria, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

I love this flower. It lasts forever. I love the dashes all over the petals. They are like mini-lilies without the horrible smell. I don't have much more of a blog in me today...tired after a fun weekend away in Philadelphia.

DAY 18: I Love My Feet

18/365 My Feet, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

What is the body part you most love on yourself? Easy, my feet. I love my feet because of the family-inherited stairstep toes, their proportionate width and nicely formed toenails. This morning as I was fluffing the covers, I saw my feet hanging out angelically in the light at the end of the bed. Breathtaking. You may think me vain, but come on...you gotta love something about yourself. What is your favorite body part?

DAY 17: From Inside

17/365 From Inside, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

It's ridiculously cold in the Northeast today. I am in Philadelphia with my sister and we both had to huddle together in her bed to keep warm. So, our view of the city today has been very abridged...through big blinds which we have kept closed to try and keep the cold out. It's not working, but made for an interesting obstructed view for today's photo.

DAY 16: Shooting Blind

16/365 Shooting Blind, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

I tried all day to capture a photo that sums up the absurd attraction I have felt to watching all the news about the US Air flight that landed in the Hudson River. To listen to the passengers talk about it, is to hear them say their lives were saved...complete strangers holding hands and hunched over in emergency crash positions, made me tear up. To hear the newscasters talk about the pilot's heroicism, made me verklempt. To hear them call this man Sully, made me laugh out loud, because I had just read this blog.

All the pictures that did not make the cut are probably just as interesting as the one that did. There was one of Liam pointing excitedly at the tv shouting, "PLANE!! BOAT! TUGBOAT! TWO TUGBOATS! WOTS OF BOATS!" There was one of the tv screen in a bar which said "SULLY - Hailed as a Hero." There were many of the George Washington bridge, as I drove over it thinking about the folks who had been in that exact same spot the day before as an A320 was, what felt like, feet from their heads. But, the one that made it was this one. A shot from the George Washington bridge as I attempted to capture some evidence of the melee below. As you can see, I got nothing but serenity. As always, the hubub of the city is made still by being photographed. You would think I was the only car on the bridge. It's actually quite a peaceful shot.

DAY 15: Waiting for Coffee

15/365 Waiting for Coffee, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

There is no finer moment than the first sip of hot coffee in the morning. I awake in my bed already thinking about it and anticipating its warm silky glide down my throat. I steal downstairs (hopefully without either kid in tow) and perform the ritual of making it. I push the button. The light comes on encouragingly. I have to find something to do to entertain myself so I don't pace idly by the machine. Today, I take its picture and anticipate posting this note.

There have been some questions about this picture. This is a picture of the light that goes on when you push the button on my father's coffeemaker. It's a Cuisinart coffeemaker with a lovely carafe that stays warm for a long time after brewing. The irony of this fact is that whoever is the first to get up each day, is forced to "decant" their coffee into a second thermal carafe to free up the machine. I usually get up first (thank you, Liam) and have to empty all my coffee and grounds out for Dad.

If Dad has to do it himself, I get a lot of flack about the amount of grounds I choose to use, how it's ruining the machine, gums up the works and, if I am not careful, we are going to have a major coffee event. Now, the terms "major coffee event" and "minor coffee event" were termed by my father to describe the kerfuffle that ensues when the coffeemaker's pinhole pouring mechanism, or the pot's tiny receptor hole, gets jammed and coffee proceeds to extrude all over the counter and floor. Coffee events can ruin your morning. There is a theory in the family that, like one person's using too much toilet paper might cause the next person's flush to overflow it, my use of coffee grounds is responsible for any and all coffee events from here on out. I guess I will just take that blame and keep on trucking...I like my coffee strong and dark. It needs to be able to wake me up and carry me through the first hour of awakeness.

DAY 14: Rose Gold

14/365 Rose Gold, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

About ten years ago, I discovered rose gold. Not sure how or why, but I LOVED it. My skin tone has always been rosier and it just seemed to go nicely with it. My wedding set is actually in rose gold (and I still LOVE it, despite not wearing it on account of the divorce). The interesting story is not about my love of rose gold (snooooooooze), but instead it's about this bracelet.

Do you ever buy yourself a gift and put it away for Christmas? Do you ever wrap up things you want from yourself? I have been known to in the past...This year, a similar thing happened. It was Christmas morning, I was at my ex-husband's house with the kids. We were celebrating a lovely Christmas morning, opening gifts, pancake breakfast, and basically just jubilant that Santa had come!

My ex produced a jewely box from the basement. It was awkward for a moment as I wondered what he was doing buying me jewelry...Then, I opened the box. It was a bracelet I had bought myself probably three years earlier. It had gotten lost in his stuff in the divorce. It didn't fit my wrists right after childbirth, but now, it fits like a dream. Merry Christmas to me, from me...

DAY 13: Sassy Frassy

13/265 Sassy Frassy, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

Elena is going through the phobic four-and-a-half-year-old stage. She's afraid of heights, stairs and being knocked off her feet. She scurries around the house like a little mouse afraid of being stepped on. Lately, she has taken to hiding out in the living room. She has made herself a play area behind the couch. She still takes in all that is going on around the house and comments on it. This morning, I was sitting in another room, Liam was in the kitchen and she was in her hiding place. She was shouting orders to both me and Liam from behind the couch. I tried to impress upon her that her orders hold much less power when shouted from another room, but that doesn't seem to stop her! Sweet little sassafrass!!!

DAY 12: Bed Party

12/365 Self-Obsession, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

Liam came into my room this morning crying hoarsely outside my door. Turns out he and my dad had gotten into a scrape about clementine oranges (Liam calls them cwememtimes). Anyhow, he needed Mommy. I was very grateful to be allowed to sleep in until 8AM!!! That almost never happens...

So, he comes to my room crying about Chapstick. He's still obsessed with Chapstick...completely and totally addicted. He talks about his face hurting or his lips hurting so he can get a fix. He came into my room so he could hound me for Chapstick. Funny boy...

Once the kids come into my room, while I am still in bed, they have to be a part of a "bed party" where I pull them up on my bed with me and we roll around like animals. Liam and I had a bed party this morning and I got out my camera. This is a picture of him staring into my lens, saying his name, fascinated by his distorted reflection.

DAY 11: R&R

11/365 R&R in the Berkshires, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

Relaxation...So relaxed, I can't come up with anything to go with this picture...so, just stare into the fire.

Day 10: The Crackberry

10/365 The Crackberry, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

I don't even need to say much more about this picture. Crackberry, it is. I am an addict. This week, on Wednesday, my six-month old Blackberry stopped charging. This is exactly how my last one died. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach and a panicky burst of energy compelling me to go to three Verizon kiosks before finally finding the one that handled repairs. Repairs were not necessary, just replacement. Same model. Same color. Unfortunately. I actually long for the new touch screen one.

Horsey Shirt

9/365 Elena in Repose, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

Every day we have a hunt for one of Elena's animal themed shirts. This one is known as her "new horsey shirt" and she adores it! She even calls the little horseback polo player on the Ralph Lauren clothing "horsey." I had hoped not to have a horse-oriented child. I remember longing for a horse, but not really knowing what it would entail. I am not sure she really wants a horse, more wants to bedeck herself in them, draw them, play with figurines and just be in the company of horse things.

Grandfather's Green Glass

Green Glass, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

My grandfather got these cheap green glasses in Mexico (according to my grandmother). He used to fill them, as was his habit, with extra ice in whatever beverage he was drinking. He would drink the liquid and then proceed to chomp the ice for hours after. One of my fondest memories of my grandfather is sitting next to him and listening to his teeth satisfyingly crush ice.

And...It's Been a Week!

Ice storm here in New England. How cool is this andromeda branch completely encased in ice? I tried to walk on the driveway and ended up skating!! We rarely have ice...usually just snow or rain. It's a treat for a photographer. Lucky me!

Endings...

6/365 - After Christmas, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

A break-up and the last flowers we exchanged are now dead. Also scattered on the snow are pine needles from the now jettisoned Christmas tree...Endings.

Days Two, Three, Four and Five...I Like Five the Best!

DAY TWO:

Liam, looking out the window upon waking up. I know it was early in the morning because, as part of my father's morning ritual, he pulls open those curtains when he gets up around seven or so.

DAY THREE:

This kid is a ham. Loves attention. Loves to be in the center of it all. He's recently taken to taking your hand to lead you places with him..."Tum here, Mommy...Tum wiff me..." Here he is modeling the latest fashion for two-year-old boys...DRESS UP!

DAY FOUR:

Here Liam is playing with a snow globe that is plastic, cracked on the top because he dropped it, missing two out of its three feet and incredibly sentimental. When my grandparents Sassano moved out of there house and we all (all five of their kids and seventeen of their grandkids) helped, we got to pick some special keepsakes. I chose this little snowglobe that I remembered coming out for many, many Christmases past. When you wind it up, it plays Jingle Bells and a little train goes into a hillside tunnel and out again.

DAY FIVE:

Elena is growing up to be a complex and bewildering little girl. I love this picture because she hardly ever lets me photograph her anymore. I love this picture because you can almost see her complexity. I love this picture because it appears as if I am slightly amused by her, while also being confused and in awe of her...all true.

Day One of a New Adventure...

1/365, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

I have started a little photo project, just for fun. I am going to be uploading one photo to my flickr account and facebook account daily. It's called a 365 project...I will be attempting to keep it going the whole year...fun undertaking!! Stay tuned.

The first picture begins in optimism...taking flight. We have lift off...

Funny Liamisms...

Has it really been a month since I last wrote? Wow...bad me! Holidays took their toll. Then, there was the Thanksgiving-contracted bronchial cold that ended in antibiotics for all three of us. Argh...much better now. Ready to start 2009 off right, healthier at least.

So, onto bigger and better things. Let's see...under the header of a general update, both kids enjoyed Christmas, are growing like weeds and driving me crazy (when they are not cracking me up). Liam has had a language explosion. Not only has it been words he has been acquiring, but also teasiness and sarcasm. This child is F-U-N-N-Y!!!! Here's just a sampling:

"Mommy, wike it! Mommy, I WUB (love) it down here..." (playing with his penis while sitting on the toliet).

"Grammy MAD at me...Mommy MAD at me, toooooooo...Auntie Cate MAD at me toooooo....all da people MAD at me!!!" (after he kept incessantly putting a golfball in his mouth after being incessantly told NOT to put said golfball into his mouth!)

Last night, Liam sat on the potty for the first time. He asked to! I thought it was a stall tactic (and very well could have been). First, after about ten minutes, he peed. I was ecstatic. I jumped up and down and cheered. He shouted, "Yay!" He then asked me to leave the bathroom..."NOT DONE MOMMY! POOP ON POTTY MOMMY" So, I left. I folded some laundry, came back in five minutes, and lo and behold big old poop in the potty!

COORAY!! (to quote Elena)

Danger, Danger

For Christmas this year, we are trying to think of things Liam cannot use to kill himself flying 60 mph down our driveway. The other day, I looked outside and had one of those loving moments...there was my dad walking down the hill to pick up the newspaper at 8 am and there was little Liam trundling behind. Dad wasn't even aware that he was being followed. So, there was one big, tall man silhouette and one tiny little boy silhouette. Very cute.

Then Liam hopped on his tricycle and started riding instead of walking. I was at the window watching as he caught the hill and started flying with his feet up. He started doing that thing where bike tips up on one wheel and then on the other
as he attempted to steer gently, but he is two so he does not really understand gentle.

And then...snowball of Liam and bike...That was when my dad finally noticed Liam was following him. I stood at the window, mouth agape as my father went and scooped up my little sobbing boy and comforted him. It's good to live here with my mom and dad. This communal living...it's good for my kids.

Would Ya Believe??

In the midst of getting my computer fixed by HP/Compaq and this exact thing is happening again...Shipping stuff to an address at which I haven't lived for three years. GRRRRRRRRR....

Suzy Chapstick in Action...

To please my handful of readers....



Suzy Chapstick

There is a Balm...

Have you ever taken your two-year-old out to eat at a restaurant? If your answer is yes, you will immediately know what I mean when I say there are certain behaviors that you will do almost anything to stop in a restaurant environment: nose picking, fighting, kicking, throwing food, and using non-indoor voices are some of my kids' favorites. Liam HAS to be strapped in. So much so, that if a restaurant doesn't have an appropriate tether on its high chair, I have been known to whip off my belt, sweatshirt or sock to tie him to his seat. He is really pretty good when restrained, when not restrained, all bets are off.

Last night, at our local burger joint he was restrained and actually fairly well behaved. He was loud, but so was the place. He was crazy, but so were all of the other kids in the frenetic atmostphere. He was not using his indoor voice, but neither were most of the men watching the Jets game. We sort of blended in. It was nice.

We had to wait forty minutes or so for a table and used up most of our energy running around on the outside patio in the cold. I had taken the kids hiking earlier in the day, also serving to tire them out. This worked well for my daughter who calmly colored her horse-themed placemat. Liam, however, is like me. When he gets more and more tired, he gets more and more hyper.

It wasn't until our meal came (WAYYYY after the kids had eaten most of and grown tired of their chicken tenders) that I realized we were going to have to come up with a new diversion for (now) shrieking Liam. I rummaged in my purse to see if I had anything of interest. I noticed Liam's lips looked a bit chapped and figured I could donate a fruit-flavored Chapstick to the cause. I pulled out the tube, took off the cap, cranked it up a teensy bit (without him seeing how I did it) and handed it to him.

He gave it a sniff. He gave it a lick. He started applying the stick. It was a bit of a tinted variety, so within a minute or two, he was sporting rosy cheeks, lips and chin. He wasn't exactly able to keep within the lines, nor did he want to. What he DID want to do was NEVER EVER let that tube of Chapstick go. For, I kid you not, the next half hour, he was silent. Silently applying his balm. He had the most serious face on, like it was his job. Fish lips, tongue and teeth all got into the act. We left the restaurant happy and well-fed...me without indigestion and Liam without a hint of chapped skin anywhere on the top half of his body and a fruity-smelling, waxy, pink clown face.

Quick Halloween Funny

Elena spent yesterday morning working on a little "project" with a napkin, a stuffed zebra and some scotch tape. This was, coincidentally, right after we had been talking about her fawn costume and how we were going to make it for Halloween. Apparently, this conversation inspired her. She produced this:



So, this morning she asked me if I saw how her zebra was dressed up for trick-or-treating. I said yes. She smiled. Realizing her mood was right for me to ask, and yes I have to take a mood reading often with her, I asked her, "What is the zebra's costume?" She looked at me like I had two and a half heads and said condescendingly, "Mommmmmmmmmmmmm!! A napkin!" (which, to make it even cuter she pronouced nakkin).

I just love how literal she is. I mean, the zebra was clearly covered in pasted on napkin pieces...Mom, how dumb are you that you don't know a napkin costume when you see one?

Christmas Card Season

I have to confess to being a weirdo on many counts. This particular fall season I have created is no exception. Starting as soon as the leaves begin to fall off their branches, it becomes Christmas Card Season around here. Since Elena was born, I have started planning outfits and backdrops at the very instant the weather changes. Since I now have two subjects, I have to take hundreds of photos before I catch the ONE.

The ONE where everyone is not looking away, running away or fighting. The ONE where all the photographic elements are balanced: composition, contrast, focus and color. The ONE where the lighting is just right, smiles dawn across both angelic faces and the venue, well, perfect. Perhaps I aim too high...Below are the actual cards over the years and some outakes of the, literally, HUNDREDS of photos dedicated to this cause.






And here are some of my favorites from the kick off of the 2008 season:

Diet Coke

My son has a new love. I regret the day I ever gave him a tiny sip of my Diet Coke, because now no one within a ten mile radius opening a soda is safe. He will come running, tongue wagging to beg like a dog at your side, "Diet Coke! Diet Coke! Diet Coke! Sip! Sip! Sip!" The first few sips seemed harmless enough. And then there were the times when we were travelling in the car and had no other toy, but a near empty Diet Coke can. Did you know this is a great toy for a two-year-old? They love to eat the pull tab, cut their lip on the opening and spill soda all over themselves...it's really great.

The obsession has started to pervade all aspects of our life. He often rejects water, sobbing for Diet Coke. When we go walking we pass numerous streams and brooks that have dark-looking water...you guessed it, he thinks these are streams of Diet Coke. Just yesterday, he woke me up in the morning by calling Diet Coke pathetically (and loudly) over the monitor. Guess he was thirsty. Weird kid...