My mom says she's been thinking about this bible story in relation to my husband. She's trying to be as open as the wealthy landowner who welcomes his son back with the words, "For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found" (Luke 15:24). My husband has been lost for a good long while. He is still lost. He is mentally ill. He has bipolar mood disorder, bad periods of depression and, God only knows what else.
So, this week, he has returned to a state of mental darkness. He has been suffering from a deep, dark depression. This afternoon he cried to me, "This program I am in is about making smart choices and getting a chance to live a better life. How can I ever live a better life if I never get the choice because the depression always comes? How can I ever get better?"
I didn't have an answer for him then. I don't really have one now, except to say, that I am a believer in God. I believe He has a plan. I don't know what more to say except, I look forward to the day when I can say, "This husband of mine was lost and now he is found." I know that day will come, until then I dent my own hands from clasping so hard in prayer. Maybe others can pray too? Maybe this post will move others to pray? I don't know. Only God does.
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4 comments:
I believe just having you for a wife is part of Gods plan to help your husband get through this. He is lucky to have the support and help from you and your family. Alot of people do not get enough of that these days. I'll be praying for you :)
We are and will continue to be praying with you..
tracy & vito
...Absolutely!
I second what Sandy said - it makes you wonder, though, when *you* get to be taken care of - or at least I wonder that as a supportive friend of yours :)
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