I am trying to figure out how to write this blog in a nebulous enough way that I don't come off looking like a sappy sixteen year old, but chances are I will fail at that objective. So, don't judge.
For a year, I have been struggling with the ending of a relationship which should NOT be so important to me and command such a large piece of my heart. I ask myself why so frequently, I grow impatient and even I tell myself to shut up.
So, my first theory was this. When a relationship is cut off at the knees in the infatuation period, it is much, much harder to let go. Especially if that "cut" is made by one person and not the other. The continual marinating in the past can be headed off by making a clean break, stopping all contact, defriending, etc. But so often, when a relationship ends unexpectedly in the infatuation period, there is no anger, no "bad times" to justify the end. So, out of this conundrum comes an almost obsessive pining and rehashing of the relationship. Yeah, that's familiar. But, somehow ALL relationships that end during the infatuation period don't do this to a person (um, me). So, why some?
I've decided that sometimes this is because those relatioships that stick in our craws, hang on for dear life like a toddler clinging to its mother's leg and dragging across the slippery kitchen floor. Yeah, those relationships are different. I have a thought about those unique ones. Maybe this thought comes from my hopeless romantic cockeyed optimistic mind, or maybe it's a universal truth. Can't call it. You be the judge.
Maybe, just maybe, those relationships that seem deeper and more connective than any others but still don't progress are right person, wrong time relationships. I like this theory. It give me hope and makes me smile. I certainly like it better than the wrong person, right time ones. Those ones REALLY suck to get out of.