So, I've been hanging out at the "Online Dating" meeting places as of late. It's a motley cast of characters who frequent these establishments. I have probably been on twenty dates or so and have really only found a couple of clicks. One click blew my socks off, but that faded quickly. The other is a slow and steady kind of thing...not mercurial and flashy, just there for sure. I am left wondering what kind of clicks are the best for love for life? Slow burn? Flashing heat? Butterflies?
It's truly amazing to me how I can meet someone and pretty much instantly know if there is any chemistry. My litmus test is whether or not I can look at their lips and want to kiss them. If I do, it's all good. If I don't, I spend a very long time staring at their lips in dread and thinking about the what ifs..."What if they try to kiss me?" "What if they really like me and I don't like them....how awkward." etc...
I have gone from having lengthy phone conversations and text marathons, to meeting early on in the process. I have found it's a lot easier to communicate that there is no love connection IF you haven't been talking to the person for three weeks. Since that "chemistry" is immediately evident upon meeting them, might as well use that as the initial screen. IF there is at least a foundation for common interests.
I have learned that that chemistry is not beholden to looks or phone connection. It's not made up of commonalities in life interest or height differences. It does not conform to reason or rule (and in my case even gender!). The click is a mysterious chemical equation - a reaction to what? I am not sure, but that does not stop me from knowing it exists and seeking it's hot embrace.