Crabby Day List

1) My Mother-in-law (aka Momzilla) is down at my house, which we recently sold, cleaning out the soon-to-be-ex's stuff. I should be grateful since it's kind of them to help out and pitch in for their son, but instead I find the whole thing annoying. First, there was the annoyance of "When should we come down? What do we need to do? What do you want us to do?" My response? Talk to your son. It's his stuff. Now, however, there is a new annoyance afoot.

This afternoon, Momzilla called from her cell. She shouldn't really have a cell phone since she is fairly deaf and claims it "gets no reception" ANYWHERE. So, the conversation goes something like this:
MZ: HELLOOOO????? HELLOOOOOO??????
ME: Hi there, Mary? Is that you?
MZ: HELLOOOOO???? I can't hear you...this darn thing.
ME: I can hear you, what do you want?
MZ: WHAT??????? HUH?????????? I can't hear you.
ME: (SCREAMING NOW) MARY, CALL ME FROM THE LAND PHONE...YOU'RE AT MY HOUSE, THERE'S A PHONE THERE...USE IT!!!!
MZ: What?? Oh dear...I still can't hear anything...
ME: THE OTHER PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MZ: CALL ME ON THE OTHER PHONE...
ME: OK
I hang up and call back on the land line. Now, thank goodness she can hear me. So, she says, "You got a bunch of calls from banks down here at your house in Norwalk, and I think you better call them back...do you know who they might have been?" No, that's why I have voice mail. Then I shake my head and say, "EXCUSE ME? Why are you answering my phone?" Her answer? "Well, I don't know who might be calling." Uh, yeah, that's the point...it's MY phone.

Then, changing the subject at lightning speed, she says, "And...today, you got a call from the Police Benevolent Society saying thank you in the past for your donation and wanting more money...You need to know that it's not a real organization. You're giving your money to a bum."

2) I have a headache and it's about 35 degrees out and it's April...IT'S SPRING...Where's Puxatawney Phil? I want to give him a piece of my mind!

3) I mean, come on, who buys into this crap:

----- Original Message -----
From: "ilasan bello"
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2007 4:23 PM
Subject: REPPLY NEEDED
> REGARDS
> MR ILASAN BELLO
> DEAR FRINED
> I AM ILASAN BELLO
> A TOP SENOIR BANKER OFFICIAL OF THE
> FOREIGN REMMITTANCE DEPT
> AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK
> OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.
>
> I AM IN CHARGE OF THE FEDERAL RESERVES ACCOUNT
> AND AUDITING ,DURING THE COURSE OF AUDITING SOME ACCOUNT,I DISCOVERED
> THAT A PATICULAR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN LYING DORMANT FOR SOME TIME,AND
> THIS ACCOUNT WAS USED BY THE MILITARY BACK IN 1998-/2000,THE TOTAL
> SOME IN THAT ACCOUNT IS $18.5M DOLLARS.
> FINALY THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU, IS THAT I DONT WANT THE
> GOVERNMENT TO
> KNOW THAT I DISCOVERED SUCH HUGE AMOUNT IN A DORMANT
> ACCOUNT,PLEASE IF YOU ARE INTERSTED TO ASSIST ME TRANSFER THE MONEY
> INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT I WILL BE VERY GREATFULL, AND 30% OF THE TOTAL
> SUM WILL BE YOUR SHARE FOR MAKING THE WHOLE THING SUCCESFUL
> TRANSACTION.
> AWAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU
>
> _________________________________________________________________