So, I fear I am giving my kids a really warped sense of time. If you're a mom or dad, you will probably know exactly what I am talking about, but if you aren't, you might think that I am twisting their realities into something ugly and tainted...well, here, follow with me on a few examples.
Example #1: Only for a FEW MINUTES
Liam gets in the bathtub, for some reason NOT amused. I don't know why I am surprised, since he is almost always, as of late, not amused to be getting into the tub. It's more like he's not interested in stopping what he's doing to be bothered to get clean. Anyhow, I digress. I promise he only has to stay in for a few minutes to get cleaned off and then he can get out and continue playing with his trains/cars/sister. He finally slides into the bath, succumbing to the bubbly warmth and starts to swim, splash and play. He's happy and contented. The "few minutes" stretch into about 45. It's the quietest Liam-awake time our little household has seen. By the time I get him out, he is one big prune...Time Warp "few minutes"=45 minutes.
Example #2: "We are leaving in FIVE MINUTES!"
In the morning, as I am rushing around in a torrential hurry to get three disorganized people out the door, I am bombarded by little people and their ridiculous demands. (I should mention that while my disorganization is a character trait, theirs is merely a factor of being 4 and 6 years old...so I can't really hold it against them). Eventually, I get them all buttoned up and send them out to play in the car. "Go out there and I will meet you in FIVE MINUTES!" Once they are gone, the hectic air clears and I can all of a sudden focus. No longer surrounded by a miasma of questions, misbehaviors and physical bodies, I am free to concentrate...ahhhhhh...Time Warp five minutes=at least 15 if not more and then late to camp.
Right now, as I blog, they have been outside for 11 minutes of a five minute stretch...I am grateful. I have stolen time from the jaws of motherhood. Damn, I'm good.