Today, Patrick and I embark on the unconventional phase of our marriage. We are taking a mutual break, a separation. We are doing it because I am tired of always being the leader and he is tired of always being the follower. We need to shake things up. We are moving. We are selling our house. We are starting something new. We tried tweaking little things in our marriage, trying to even out the uneven division of power, but we need (to quote my husband) broad strokes.
What does broad strokes mean? It means we need to upend our life, head over teakettle, in order to change our dynamic. Patrick is heading off to our new area, the Adirondacks, by himself. He is in the advance party. He will get established up there, we will join him after he has created a new environment for himself and us.
It reminds me of the days of manifest destiny and the pioneers who boldly mobilized to find a new life. Passing into the unknown is scary for sure, but we have found that this little house in the suburbs doesn't work for us. We need to be surrounded by nature. We need to find something new...and this time, Patrick needs to lead us. As Death Cab for Cutie says, I will follow you into the dark.
3 comments:
I'm so glad to see you blogging again. I know you are going through a lot right now, and when I don't see any evidence of the former "kiki", it worries me.
My opinion on everything going on is this:
The worst thing you can do is to not even try. I admire that you are both bound and determined to make this work with so many opposing forces.
I'm sure you've heard the story of Mark's "midlife crisis". He was an ass to me and the kids. Things aren't perfect now, but they are a million times better.
Just wanted to give you a little more hope.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. When we were moving originally prior to moving away, my parents told me to let him get settled and have everything set up but I didn't listen....I wish I would've listened.
Glad to see you back on here, it does seem to help me sometimes actually blogging again (especially when the house is quiet as it is now...meaning nobody to talk to!) My own mother blew me off because 24 is on..WTF is up with that?? Yeesh
I wish you all the best. Just remember to stock up on the warm clothing. I admire you commitment. The good Lord wouldn't give you any more than you can handle. He must think highly of you
Post a Comment