Sunlight Theory of God

This weekend, I had a friend ask me some questions about my faith in God. This was not a contentious discussion, but instead a real honest conversation. The crux of the questioning was, "WHY do you believe in God?" which is one of the hardest questions to answer. I can tell the story of HOW I came to believe in God or WHEN or WHERE...but, WHY? My response, after trying to find stories and logic that would show him why, was to say that I think we are making a head discussion out of something that is really a heart pursuit. I don't ever feel God in my brain...well, I do now, but I certainly didn't feel Him first there. He first held my heart in his hand and healed me with love.

So, as is my way, I tried to think of an analogy to help elucidate this feeling. Here is what I believe. God is like sunlight, bright, warm, enveloping, engendering life and growth. Like the sun, He shines on everything and everybody. With this sunlight, there is no night, only the shadows we create by turning our backs or facing away. He is still there, shining on our backs, reaching for a connection, but we cannot see him. We are turned into our own, self-imposed shadows. We are in the dark and we feel in the dark. When we turn into His light, we are offered all the benefits of his light and love. We grow. We develop. We are able to see. We feel joyous.

Even those of us who spend the good portion of our lives, faces tipped up to God, have times when we turn our backs and live in the shadows. These are times when I try to find my way, on my own, in the dark. Eventually, I turn back into the light and experience the warm, loving touch of my God. I bathe in the sunlight and am warmed all the way through. I bask. I experience the purest joy. I promise I will never turn away again, but I am human and God gave me the freedom to turn away...and sometimes I do.


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SHOT Show #4: And the lights...go down in the city...

OK Vegas, bone to pick with you. How is it that a city based on its lights and its flashing brightness could have so many burned out bulbs? Is this the city's version of SADS? Have tough economic times taken their toll on the letters and words spelled out on the sides of giant buildings and signs? You be the judge!











Even the convention center...expecting 50,000 hunters with automatic guns...


Let's get with it! Get some of those new-fangled fusili-shaped light bulbs that last 20 years...in your case, they will only last 10, but what the hey, it's going to be an improvement.

SHOT Show Post #3: The Naked Gun

At one point during the SHOT Show, I looked over and noticed that our bison looked a little nervous...why was he a little nervous? Can you see between his legs? (NO! That's not why he's nervous, dirty mind!)


Here, I'll focus it for you...


Still can't really see it? Here, let me zoom in...


Yup...just your standard naked sniper, nothing really.


And then, staring down the barrel of the naked gun...not sure you can see that he is pointed RIGHT at our bison, but there he is...


Naked gunman. Definitely NOT what I expected to see at SHOT Show...AT ALL!

SHOT Show Post #2 - SHOT Show Cuisine

Everything is better....
dehydrated?




Scrambled eggs...YUM!
From a can?


Buffalo...It's what's for dinner.


Caroline modeling the latest in cookbooks for our shelves...


At least there is a dessert section:

SHOT Show Post #1 - New Products

Well, at least new to me!

1) Game Management Systems - aka deer feeders, molasses licks, vitamins syrups and apple and peanut butter flavored pellets. These feeders are touted as nutrient rich. My question was, does the hunter really care to nourish his game? My mistaken assumption about these feeders was that they were only for luring the deer to be shot. Well, actually they are feeding systems that start in the fall and keep the deer around for the spring hunt. Their main goal is to maximize antler growth. Bizarre and, to me, a little like cheating!


2) The Game Sled - When you have bagged your kill, you then can pull it home on a tarpaulin-fashioned sled. My favorite thing about this product, beside the lovely graphic pictures of dead animals being pulled home in slings, was the slogan. Tag it! Bag it! Drag it! (I have to admit it's catchy and sticks with you...it could be heard being uttered around the booth during moments of excitement and frustration).


3) Camo Diva - Yes, ladies, camo is not just for boys anymore. On the off chance that you would like a prom dress, wedding dress, lingerie or swimsuit in camo, check out Camo Diva. Well, even if not, check it out anyway! www.camodiva.com

4) Stag Arms - I have to admit, there is nothing at all special about this product, except that when I first encountered its name, I had no idea what it was. I seriously thought it had something to do with hanging the deer after the kill. My booth mate thought it had to do with the antlers (aren't those the stag arms after all?). Can you tell we are not hunters? Stag arms is merely a hunting gun maker. OHHHH! THAT kind of arm!

5) Burnham Brothers - While not the catchiest named business, the products they make were interesting to me because I never would have conceived of a market for them. They made calls. Not only the traditional duck and goose calls you would expect, but dying rabbit calls and hurt animal calls that would attract the predator to become prey.

Las Vegas...You are a strange bird...

So, you want to have an out of body experience? Go to Vegas...It's unlike anything else in the world. Bring thousands of dollars, because buying even a caramel apple is $13.99 (yes, SERIOUSLY). Expect to be buzzed on lights, hopped up on smoke, mingled with the pure oxygen I am told they pump into the casinos. The overstimulation continues.

Now, when most people go to Vegas (which means meadows, I wikipedia-ed it), they are expecting to become night owls, nay, vampires. Up all night, exploring their dark sides and sleeping all day in small closed up caves. We are not among these people. We do not enjoy the lights and craziness and the hedonism, frankly makes us sick. But, more practically, we are forced to get up at 5:30, get ready to be on our feet all day at the trade show. This does not a night owl make. I may be the first person to visit Vegas, not do any of the traditional Vegas things and go to sleep before 10 every night.

Coming tomorrow...posts on the other strange bird...SHOT Show.

Kiki Does Vegas

Vegas is definitely a place you can poke fun at. You can laugh at the two women who you are pretty sure are hookers (or is the modern accepted term escorts?) when you arrive in your hotel lobby. You can cringe at the signs vasectomy.com – It’s easier than you think…and Babes Delivered to your Door. Excess is everywhere. Rome called, they want their hedonistic culture back.

When you fly into Vegas, it is as if it has sprouted up out of the arid soil like some radioactive mushroom patch. As you get closer, you see the skyline of New York City, a pyramid with a column of light shining straight up from it, drilling into the clouds, a roller coaster spiraling through and around buildings, and everywhere lights…so many lights. I could say it looks like Christmas, but that would be to sanctify it too much…it’s more like a two-year-old’s Lite Bright play – clashing, cacophonous, and acidic. Overstimulation has a rapid onset. I imagine there aren’t many who can sleep here, like children on the night before a big event, but I do not have that problem. I am a bit out of place as a morning person, one who longs for trees, nature and blue skies. It’s a very interesting place to peep at, but I will be happy to head home and see Vegas in my rear-view mirror.

What Was Grammy-Nanny Thinking?

It's a little disconcerting when you come home after a snow day when the family has been a little stir crazy with cabin fever and this is the page that is up on the computer when you pull it up. Not, necessarily a bad idea...I'm just sayin'!

I Want to Ask a Question

120509 035, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

The other day, the same day as the great pup tent experiment, I came into the room to find Liam attempting to shove this Rare Earth 45 into a CD player annoucing, "I want to play some music!"

My question is this: how did he know that this was an archaic form of music media?

This picture brings me right back to a party my parents had when I was Elena's age and this was one of my hand-me-down records. The Wallin kids and I turned off the lights and played "cool" music on my little record player. This one, Black and White by Three Dog Night and Papa Was a Rolling Stone by the Temptations. There was that little, swastika-shaped yellow piece of plastic that fit into the center hole so it could be played on the tiny spindle. In retrospect, we were COOL, I think, as five-year-olds go!

Tis the Season for....Obsession

120509 028, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

Every year as the holiday season encroaches, I start my ornaments. This year it's felting. Felting acorns, little flowers, fiddlehead ferns in pots, fawns, dogs, cupcakes, and, of course, fried eggs!

Yesterday We Tried Something New

120509 041, originally uploaded by Kikigill.

I was trying to head off the game of "beaver dam" by setting up the pup tent, INSIDE. I had delusions of happy children playing neatly in the tent for days on end. An inspiring fort, with just enough rule breaking to be interesting, I had hoped it would rivet them to the playroom, buying me time to read and do my felting projects. Not so, I'm afraid.

First of all, the interest in the tent lasted only about as long as any other toy...forty minutes or so. Secondly, the tent, being in essence a giant receptacle, inspired what can only be called an unsorting game. A collection of all the toys of the playroom, the winter clothing housed up there and pieces of paper trash from near and far gathered inside the tent. This game was WORSE than beaver dam.

Couple that with my sense of false security thinking I had stumbled on the perfect entertainment...and you have disaster. Turns out we had upturned game boards, dumped out bins and, the piece de resistance, the twin bed sheet on the bed up there decorated Pollack-style with green marker. What is that saying about the word assume...

Sunday Dinners

Looking in from the outside, there sits the family eating Sunday dinner at my aunt Pat's. For years and years, all my childhood (when we lived in the NY area), we had Sunday dinners at Grandma and Grandpa's. I remember bringing our new puppy to show them. Celebrating birthdays...and fresh hams...where I could pick the fat squares off the top while Grandpa carved the meat. Like this:

Halloween...Elena the Zebra

Camisole with a No-Pantyline Promise??

Explain to me how a cami would leave a panty-line anyway...

From the Cutting Room Floor...Brooklyn Trip

More pictures that were taken and never blogged below...

There's just something about the light in Brooklyn:










A little tired on the way home:

I Am Abandoning Ship

I made it to day 290 in my 365 project. I still take a picture a day, but have been so falling behind in my blogging about each picture, that I am putting an end to the guilt I feel. This does not mean I won't blog and this does not mean I will not post pictures. I will do both. It just means I am not beholden to telling you stories from damn near two months ago. Here are some of the pictures I have taken in the last two months that would have been blogs with captions underneath summarizing what I was going to write about...then I can move on from the guilt and get back to my good old-fashioned blog.

Mom and Dad's anniversary...40 years:


Tree Me! The arrival of the Christmas trees at Youngs the day before Thanksgiving. We put ours up the weekend after:


Flipping Off...this is a tree at our church. I cannot tell if it is a manufactured "sculpture" that is made to look like a hand giving the finger, or some sort of fungus that grew that way...


Uno! The WKC winner from last year memorialized in plush:


Gluten-Free candy cookies made with all the leftover Halloween mini-bars:


These eggs were from our friends' chickens! Aren't they beautiful!


"Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light."








Running down Pin Pack, returning from the Casey Lane hike...I loved how they are in matching form:




A sign I spotted on my walk which made me think of times gone by:


Look at this dandy fellow:


Have you ever really stopped to look at how creepy this sign is? Perhaps the sign itself is effective as a deterrent to prowlers!


Let the felting begin! Felted acorns:


Squirrel nests...this one's for you, Robin and Tiff!


Sparkling stream, bubbling like seltzer in the morning sun:


This was going to be a good blog! When Liam went Brooklyn with his godfather, Doug, Doug came back announcing that it was very interesting to see Halloween decor through a 3-year-old's eyes. In Brooklyn, the big thing is to hang giant spider webs of stretchy polyester that reach from first to second story of your brownstone. Liam eyed then all trepidatiously and Doug said he could almost hear him thinking, "Um...how about this big 'pider problem you all have in Brooklyn? Can't you do something about it?"


Two Thumbs Up for The Bissell House, new restaurant in the Ridge:


Long-limbed Italian greyhound, Milo...belonging to a friend.


Goodwill find as I was setting up a 60's table for Mom's birthday party:


Business meeting in New York City completed, waiting for my car at the parking garage...killing time:


Looking East and West at the same time:


Um...maybe Scientology IS the path to Heaven? ;)


Times Square security camera:


The 80's called and they want their flourescent, splatter paint embellishment BACK:


When you get change from the Metro-North train machines, you get gold coins...And I love them...


Liam does too:


A Church Glows in Brooklyn: